DEB's TeA PaRTy

to Aries:

sorry can't write u back these days, honey(i mean by mail :)). i'm really kinda busy, and u know why. oh, i've collected all your letters (or as u say,diaries), and looked though them once. seems that u're little bit on edge [maybe, i guess]. but you know what, i'm sure you'll be ok soon. look, you're one of my best friends,right? and my friends, apparently, would never say "give up" easily [and BTW, i know u won't] .  just let people talk, don't try too hard on yourself, everything gonna be fine....if u feel that lonely, call me, i'll be there[on the phone--^_^]

........well then, and don't make it wrong, i'll never try to mothering you...haha. hope you can see this!!! all right then, i gotta get back to work, love u~

i was confused. don't know why have so little eager to write these days. no matter how i persuade myself, i just couldn't control it well. the feeling of scary, confusion and unsteadiness. for one moment, i was totally freak out, by my own self. The dark side of a human-being, those greedy, yielding, jealous chariteracteristic, make me doubt my very belief. i know very well that i can't do it. i am surppose to follow my young-day dream in the future way, not allowing any shadow  cover my real thought, which already melt into my blood, deeply.

i ought to keep telling myself that everything gonna be fine, despite not now, but any second in next minute. the world would be ok, just not now, not this moment. how can a prisoner drag himself out of the jail but still feeling satisfied? the path's change dramaticly, even though only for that one person, however it still become different.

every single step that we make in this minute would've make slightly or no different for our current lives, but it will, just not now. it certainly will. these not-a-big-deal decisions we make now could change our lives,entirely. so, just prepare youself.

(........what presenting above is totally a mess. i don't even know how it could make any sense. just like those crazy talk. not a damn sentence seems reasonable..............)

today i am getting so much better, at least could sleep quite  well. feeling unstable and guilty, i guess it is the time to study, i mean what exactly, cram for the SAT, again. still not sure if i could go through well this time.

it doesn't mean i am totally unprepare..it just, i hate the moment when i couldn't get the meaning about those passages. i hate my stilly self. this unstable, unsave feeling will never do me any good. i wish myself could just get use to those tiny, dazing words on the paper, i've been practise. and i kinda hoping it already get little bit better now. as my opinion, "Pheonix Wright" really help me out there. [of course i refer to the game, mostly-----namely, he's also good guy in person]

oh, right. i finish "Shark season one", it's definitely a damn great show. i'd love to recommand it to everyone, and waiting for the next season come.(seems like it would be on show on Sep. 23rd...what a news!!!) it seems that the time to re-consider what exactly "JUSTICE" is ,was finally came, i better be prepare. i would talka' bout it in "Life like that" next time....pleeeeeese discuss with me if u want!!!

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and, the thing which still bother me a lot is that all "job" could be danger? if that was truth, i better prepare myself.

BTW, i got conntact with Gloria this evening, she's still soooo friendly  {o^_^o}

i finally got contact with Aries. it seems that she already be in school in U.S. in a time. i am so happy she make it. u know, until that moment which she reply me with"OK", i am still so afraid that i may lost her, naturally, as a good friend i can't afford to lose. then i got her. it is such a reunion for me.

she said that she's in San Francisco. i guess it is great. oh, the whether there, i just love it! THOUGH it seems still a lot of stuff about her i don't know, there's gonna have a next time. there's nothing to worry about. :)

btw, man, i just suddenly felt so sick a few moment ago. don't even know why. i just feel like lying in bed and having some rest. my body feelexhausted that maybe i got a cold...hell, i am suppose to write an essay today, now, i could not sure if it can be work out. silly me!!!

( still, good luck today...)

it is about 2 a.m. in the morning.

seems what i suppose to do today, well, i mean yesterday would never done on time. that i leave it as today's job. hard to believe, here's such a great place. i am gonna make some practice before writing something serious, i mean, like an article or some of the kind. thank god that i just set up a new topic....

today, oh, i mean yesterday..it's kinda over.

gotta go, to my sweetdream-bed (*smile~)